What are my two favorite things in movies and, also now that I’m thinking about it, in real life -
Makeovers. And Dancing.Case 1 -
These things make everything better. Like when someone you like but who looks totally like a dumposaurus finally realizes it and classes it up, it makes you happy. And when everyone just wants to dance for no good reason and for all good reasons, that’s wonderful! Or even if someone you don’t like gets a makeover and maybe they used to look okay but then they get bangs and you notice how fat their face is, it makes you happy. Or if you’re dancing and you’re an amazing dancer and everyone notices how great you are at it, that’s wonderful!! Plus, makeovers and dancing are signs that all is right with the world and we have the magical time to dwell on our appearances and physical expressions. Try to find a dumptastic person to makeover, make them over and then just DANCE.
Dance until your feet bleed and the streets run stinky with sweat.
Here are things made better by
Makeovers and Dancing
Audrey in Funny FaceAudrey Hepburn goes from a supposed total frump who can’t sing at all to a glamourous woman of the world who can’t sing at all. And even though Audrey was never not adorable in that film, I still really enjoyed her makeover. Because if there’s one thing everybody loves it’s seeing beautiful people get made over to be more beautiful. And then what’s better than seeing those madeover people dancing with fairly mediocre skill?? NOTHING. That’s what’s better. Nothing.
Mia in mostly real life and also Rosemary’s Baby
This isn’t exactly a makeover in a movie, except for when it sort of was in Rosemary’s Baby. But Mia had the long flat hair of a woolly mammoth then SNIPSNAPSNORUM - and so emerges a famous glamour puss who didn’t wear boots. Even if John Cassavetes does tell her she looks awful. Or at least her haircut looks terrible. But what does he know?? NOTHIN’! I mean, who’s going to put any stock in a man who lets the devil impregnate his wife?? Especially while she’s unconscious. Probably a few people - but not this girl!! (I’m pointing to myself!!!)
And if you’re Mia Farrow you go on to do some pretty cool stuff, like plop on a black wig, climb on Liz Taylor’s back and then just hang out. And then you hop in the tub and guess what! Liz Taylor’s there AGAIN!
Well, you didn’t expect to climb in bed with Liz and not end up in the tub with her, did you? You shouldn’t climb in a bed with someone you wouldn’t want as your bathtub bubbly time companion.
Marilyn and her face and hair
Marilyn is a pretty famous example. She fixed her face with a chop here and a paste there, snipped her hair and dyed it and then decided to lose her top and use a couch cushion as an alternative. Who wouldn’t call this gal a genius?? But you know who failed Marilyn? Whoever decided making over Lindsay Lohan as her would be a good idea. She looks like a flubby sad man. An unfortunate freckly tornado of cheap wig and unsightly stub arms. And I apologize for this photo now.
Phew. That was a close call. A mixed bag. A bag of chocolate and raisins and you just want the chocolate but you keep getting raisins. FUN FACT - Once in 7th or 8th grade in the great outdoors I spied what I thought was a raisin on my sleeping bag. I picked it up to examine it, but did not eat it. I had a realization and threw it as far as my middle school arms could throw. It was squirrel poo. I’m like 99% sure it was squirrel poop. But I wouldn’t have eaten a raisin I found on my sleeping bag anyway. I’m not a monster. I just pick up squirrel poop. Anyhow. This is a good segway…
Now, we’ve seen mostly how all these makeovers are fine and dandy. But sometimes this is not the case - i.e. Lindsay. And this is sad. Yes. Sometimes, I get sad…
When good things go bad(ly.)
TO BE CONTINUED! With a focus on dancing and failed makeovers failing us all.