Here is how they made sound effects for radio plays! I would be the girl on the far right. My name would be something old-fashioned, like Merla or Quotidienne. I would live in a kooky boarding house with a bunch of other girls, who also worked on radio plays, and we would sneak in gentlemen at night - since our house mistress, Thavis Millgrue, would disapprove of anything involving the opposite sex. Most firmly she would oppose dancing and working on radio plays with them.
What she wouldn’t know is that my best friend Binny Mocket’s fiance, Wolfsbane, had been living in the building the whole time. Disguised as a woman! At least we’d all feel pretty sure it was a man disguised as a woman. At least that’s what Wolfsbane said. But only time would tell.
I used to love this commercial when I’d go to the movies. They are having so much fun! I want to have that much fun. Oh. WAIT. I already do! SCROLL DOWN TO SEE HOW and WHY!! Or just keep reading. Because it’s really not even necessary to scroll.
Here’s how I make fart sounds with my mouth! If I was working on a radio play, they’d probably have somebody actually fart if it called for a fart. So I would get fired. UNLESS, I devised a sort of mask to wear over my mouth in order to hide where the sound was erupting from. Then, I would trail a tube from my mouth, down into my turtleneck, right through to the area from where such a noise should be emanating. Yes, indeed. That’s what I would do if I worked on a radio play. There is nothing to be ashamed about when farting or making fart sounds with your mouth. Of what you should feel truly shameful is an actual fart emerging from your mouth.
Now, in discussing this posting with a live human it was pointed out that farting with one’s mouth might seem strange. Weird. Gross. And showing everybody how I do it would increase all those qualities. I don’t think so. It’s as natural as the day is long, as long as the nose on your face, as natural as stems spring flowers & as spring flings summer. Everybody does it. Including Martha and Isabella. The Dream Team.
What’s not natural is a baby dressed as a turkey. But for the spirit of Thanksgiving
This post was brought to you by a deliciously pasty Martha Stewart and some smiling idiot.